Bestsellers: The Pope

http://www.theonion.com/articles/top-5-bestselling-books-week-of-december-10-2012,30675/

(Mine's the last one)

Mayan Prophecy

http://www.theonion.com/articles/preparing-for-the-mayan-doomsday-prophecy,30697/

(Mine is the 4th-last one)